Gray and Gay

I’ve thought about being dead,
watched my bloated self in the mirror,
waited for strangers
to take care of the funeral.

I’ve thought about dinner parties,
the theatre: things no longer
in the budget. Sex. Doctors.

I’ve thought about cohesion,
Clairol, Herbal Essence
and Eyeliner. Friends.

I’ve thought about outreach groups,
raisins, peaches, and kiwis.
Still-life paintings in my city.

I’ve thought about American Idol,
churches and meals on wheels.
About competition,

and another twenty years of less,
and less, and less of a line
that does not disappear on its own.

I’ve thought about mangrove crabs
living in mud holes, pushed
back into the closet.


© Sergio A. Ortiz 2009 First Published in the summer of 2009